Limbaugh blames feminism for smaller ding dongs

A recent report from a team of researchers has found that American male genitalia is smaller now, on average, than it used to be. About 10 percent smaller, which is rather alarming all around. The researchers blamed a cocktail of environmental factors (including pollution and the estrogen mimicking effects of chemicals leaching from plastic), obesity, stress, and smoking. All of these are known factors that cause reduced genital size in males. Scientifically proven, in fact.

 

But hey, Rush Limbaugh never let a little science stand in his way! Instead, Rush blames his favorite straw man, the "chickification" of American society. Limbaugh perceives any movement towards gender equality as "chickification." As one of America's most vocal proponents of gender policing, Limbaugh actually has a long list of things that count as "chickification." 

 

Basically, anything that makes Limbaugh feel uncomfortable about the status of his own masculinity gets branded "chickification." (Limbaugh is apparently the kind of guy who feels as though he would be less of a man if he, say, used a scented body wash or ate a salad.) 

 

And you know what really makes Limbaugh uncomfortable? Women standing up for gender equality. Or, in Limbaugh's parlance, "Feminazis." Want birth control? Feminazi. In favor of a woman's right to decide what happens inside her uterus? Feminazi. Think women should be legally allowed to earn the same pay as their male counterparts for the same work? Feminazi.

 

Thus it's only obvious that Limbaugh would blame "the Feminazis" for this news about shrinking male genitalia.

 

This isn't just silly bluster. The more people like Limbaugh point to fake hobby horses like "the feminist agenda," the longer it will take for the real causes of this kind of problem to be uncovered, much less addressed. Oh, but addressing these issues might put restrictions on Rush Limbaugh's cherished, precious darling: American business.

 

The truth is that we have known for decades that chemicals leaching from plastics mimic the effects of estrogen. And yet, people like Limbaugh have successfully pushed back against any attempt to legislate for safe plastics. 

 

I guess Rush Limbaugh would rather blame some fake monster he's invented out of his own Freudian nightmares, than address the actual heart of the issue. Which is too bad, if you think about it. Since you would think a guy like Rush Limbaugh would actually be in favor of solving this "small wiener" problem. But I guess even Limbaugh has his priorities: he would rather score points against an imagined enemy than solve an actual problem.