Limbaugh has taken up the banner of the Republican party as being "the party of NO," but to most people, that's meant to be a bad thing.  Like a toddler screaming NO NO NO NO NO regardless of what is being offered, whether it's marshmallows or mushy peas, Rush Limbaugh rejects any offerings of health care policy change.

So what, one wonders, does Rush think we should put in place?  What health care system would Rush support?  Given that we do not have the world's best health care system, but its 31st best.  And that our national statistics for both infant mortality and average life span (typical benchmarks of a country's level of infrastructure and development) are ridiculously bad.

Media Matters has thoughtfully compiled Rush's thoughts on the issue.  To sum up Rush Limbaugh's seven point health care plan:

1.    You don't need teeth.  Get dentures, because they help save the planet's limited teeth supplies (???).  Or don't get dentures, and just eat applesauce.  To quote Rushbo, "Isn't that why they make applesauce?"

Just a side note here: Rush is under the impression that dentures are made from dead people's teeth.  This has not been the case since 1837.  Where would Rush get such an unusual and bizarre idea?  How dumb IS this guy?

2.    Pay your own bills and quit bitching about it.  Regardless of how much you have paid for health insurance, or of the very concept of health insurance (which is that health care costs should be covered).  Rush mocked a man who "about had an emotional breakdown" because he was going to be billed his own after-care costs.

3.    No one is dying because of lack of health insurance.  (Note: this is completely untrue.  But that doesn't stop Rush from believing it, or from espousing that belief in public.)

4.    Only rich people matter.  According to Rush, with regards to his own health care treatment in Hawaii, the "average American family" can easily afford an extra SUV or two when health care problems crop up.  What, you can't?  What's wrong with you?  

5.    Don't get health insurance.  It's the honorable thing to do!  If you can afford a car, you can afford not to have health insurance.  (Note: this is probably the worst financial advice I have ever heard in my life.  Please don't follow it, if you make less than Rush's salary of $40 million per year.)

6.    "If you can't afford to fix it, then don't break it."  Rush chewed out a caller who broke her wrist and can't afford the $6,000 in medical bills.

This is really awesome advice, and I do not understand why more people don't follow it.  If you can't afford chemotherapy, don't get cancer!  If you can't afford dialysis, don't get kidney disease!  If you can't afford asthma medication, don't get asthma!  If you can't afford cranial surgery, don't have a stroke!  And so forth.  DUH.

7.    We should follow the veterinary care policy.  Of course, I know a lot of people who opt to skip treatment of their pet because they can't afford it.  Thousands of animals are put to sleep every year, rather than face exorbitant vet bills.  And pets are less likely to have expensive end-of-life care issues like dialysis, chemotherapy, and all that.  DAMN FACTS!

Creative Commons-licensed photo courtesy of Flickr user maximolly